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How Your Loved Ones Can Meddle In Your Divorce

25 July 2016 by Kenneth Pierce

If you are going through a divorce, expect some meddling from the people close to you. The meddling can come in different ways, such as these three:

Choosing Sides

Sometimes friends take sides and start making disparaging remarks about the other spouse. For example, a "friend" can tell you how they knew all along that your spouse wasn't right for you, but they didn't just want to speak up. Such kinds of things may get back to your spouse and raise their anger. The anger won't just be directed at your friend either; you will be at the receiving end too.

Unfortunately, divorcing an angry spouse is much difficult than an amiable one. They might want to seek revenge, contest all issues or even just make the divorce plain hard for you; having a cooperative spouse is much easier.

Offering Advice

Some forms of advice aren't bad. For example, a friend can advise you on where to rent an affordable apartment or the best schools to take a child after relocating from your current home. However, advice aimed at the legal process of divorce shouldn't come from your friends; that's what divorce lawyers are for.

For example, a friend might meddle in your divorce by advising you what to do to minimize your alimony payments—for example, by not declaring some of your assets. You can get in legal trouble if that advice leads you to commit illegal acts.

Comparing Cases

Unless you are relatively young, you are likely to have a friend, relation or colleague who has gone through a divorce or knows someone who has. As such, it may be tempting to compare their situations to yours. That would be unfortunate because no two divorces are ever the same.

A typical divorce outcome and settlement depends on different factors, such as:

• How much money you have
• The number of your children
• The ages of your children
• How long you have been married
• Your health
• Your respective contributions to the marriage

As you can see, it's mighty difficult to find two similar cases. For example, if a friend had two teenagers at the time of divorce, don't expect to pay the same child support even if you also have two kids and earn the same salary as your friend. This may be because your children have different needs—for example, if one has a health condition that the other kids don't have.

It's good to know these things in advance so that you will know how to deal with the meddling. For example, when you receive a piece of advice from a friend, run it by your lawyer first before executing it.

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